philosopher

Today I am happy, for no particular reason: yesterday me and Francesco went to the theatre (45 minutes  drive to and from, because here in Alessandria there is really nothing to see), but we had a wonderful time, for a mere 16 € (10$ two tickets- this speaks volumes, in Alessandria you pay 3 times more…); we slept well, today I took a nap with my kitten, now I am writing. I said, I am happy.

And on Sunday I just watched the time while running (It was awfully hot and I was trotting like a toddler more than properly running) and I did 1k in 12 minutes, which for my age and my weight it is not bad, not really bad. I know that I can  go back to a under 10 (minutes) km. I just have to run.

Ok, I feel I have tried all. And I am fat (fatter) 161. And I am definetly menopausal.  My hormonal levels show that, even if my thyroid is working, my ovaries are definetly going to retire (and I feel too young myself to retire, either from work or for life)  I’ll go and see my ob.gyn (hoping  to  haver an appointment within days, not weeks). What bothers me most, together with  changes in my body’ appearance, is bloating. Most of the weight i put on is water, and it very difficult to get rid of it, at least for me: it is as difficult as shed fat.
A friend in buddy slim asked what could she do to help: well just asking was a great help. Thanks !
I cannot ask my husband, who is involved in his own weight problems ; and my best friend didn’t struggle with weight all of their life, a thing, besides ( struggling with weight, that is), I want no more to do. Should I adopt a lighter approach to life? (that is, to hide the head into sand?) Ok, a ligter approach would certainly help, at least to limit some neck pain. But I like to be healthy (I love life)

Yesterday  we went out with a friend of ours who we seldom see: he lives and works in Rome in tv and movies, and has directed some succesful series. Now he is “between projects”, that means he has not worked for four months. (crisis is there too).We went to eat in a wonderful restaurant (farewell, eating right), but at least we could take a walk in the country with his dog Gianna (his wife rescued her from a shelter three years ago) I didn’t feel heavy, but surely this is not the best way to on…

Help!

Today, finally, sun peeped outside the clouds. It looked like the spring we didn’t have, at least until now. I did 45 minutes of fitness walking and ended up in sweat. Good. At least, I shake my pre - menopausal body. I am in a rut: I ate well, boosted my exercise intake, and weight upped. And I had to come back to a plus size magazine to find a pair of trousers (I did’t find them anyway, so i saved). Doc said my metabolism has definetly slowed down.  So I need a complete check up, since my period stopped two months ago. And I really hope to  find time this week to go to the hospital, and then to two doctors (ob gyn and tyroid). At least I could rest: school were closed. Rain made our rivers dangerously grow, and half the town was evacuated (even the library I use to work part time). Nothing luckily happened, but how come that here in Italy we need to live in the emergency?

I do think that most of of you is thinking what happened to her? (or at least I hope so). Easy to say: I was working. To earn my bread and butter, so to say (bills that is) I gave up hard dieting, but I tried to up my exercize intake, and I really feel better. I am following a Pilates program, so my middle aged abs stay in shape, and I walk a lot. The scale is there, fixed. So be it . I hoped to pare down my work, but it seem, simply, impossible.  The crisis, perhaps, or the government that wants us (teachers) be constantly busy. That busy - ness, however, is mostly useless and only time - consuming ( I don’t want to recall the pointless meeting I heve attended in the last three weeks) Today I’ on holidays - and the winter - spring closet waits for me.

It is MArch 8 and before noon I had already visited the cat, did laundry, scrubbed the bathroom, made lunch. My husband slept until late. If this is women’s day, I do need another holiday… But, I went running (after ironing cleaning washing winter pulls)…and I’m proud to be a woman!

I just thought the the world couldn’t do worse ( in a variety of ways) but of course I was wrong: i’m fighting over a chapel in my father’s birthplace. Yes. I don’t think that i will need to go to court, but I’m not so sure. This is defying all the Secret , Key or other new age stuff (which has worked well for other things, though). All comes from a will and a dead cousin, and it would be laughable if not sad. More, I’m now sure that my other cousin, the one who was sick in November, has a brain tumor (and her behaviour was a consequence, not a cause). I’m going to see her, and as you can imagine there is not much I can do. Yeterday me and husband had a golf ball sized serving of ice cream, and are still ridden with guilt. Now I have my half hour left before dinner to run, and there I go. bye ( don’t say anything about weight because it is bad news, either)

Yesterday I went back to running: it was a wonderful day, cold and windi and clear. It was simply impossible to stay at home. 45 minutes, 3 miles. Wow!

This  is a valentine for my buddy slim friends.
Well –being  S. Valentine list:
•    Love the ones you are with ( spouse, hubby, children,  parents, pets, friends…)
•    Love yourself (first  thing and always): whatever happens we are all trying to do our best.
•    Indulge (not binge:  we’ll have a diet –savvy Valentine meal, that , I know, sounds awful – not very romantic, anyway, but strawberries and a glass of sparkling white wine will do fine)
•    Indulge 2 : buy a present for him/her, or  prepare something yourself (yesterday evening I did the wee small hours to finish my handmade valentine while my husband snooze on the couch). It doesn’t have to be something expensive, but inexpected, or cherished , anyway different from last minute store bought chocolates: I  bought my “old bag “ (that’s how he sees himself, at least sometimes, when he thinks  I could do equally better without him) his favorite bathfoams from L’occitane, picked a cd on his list (he has a list in a store), a never seen before dvd, and the latest Patricia Cornwell book (out two days ago here)
•    Have a good day ( tomorrow, St. Faustino, here in Italy is the Patron Saint of singles, together with St. Anthony – at least in my town. It is a tradition to throw your shoe or slipper against your front door on St Anthony ‘s Day, January 17. If the point faces outside, you are going to marry , or at least fix a date,  within the year. If this matters, it did so the year I married,  1992)

It is snowing again and I am in bed with a bad cold, coughing and sneezing and with a bulbous red nose. The good is I can stay in bed all day long or so. No need for eating, or working, even my husband knows now that i need to be alone in order to recover (I usually kill my colds with antistaminics, but sometimes they simply don’t work: swallow a pill or not is perfectly the same thing) it seems like my body gives up, when it’s overwhelmed: by work, problems, anguish (like my cousin health that is frailing, and i couln’t yet bare to see her), money, things to do at home, deadlines etc. Maybe I am a bit like my cat who uses to sleep a lot, and of course she has someone (us!) who care for her. And yesterday we had a good day, with my sister in law and my nephew who finally went for dinner. It was my husban’s birthday so we had his favourite dishes and a cake. And now all I want is a good rest