philosopher

Yesterday, I was finally back to muscle toning. I put my weight out of their closet, selected an old video and happily realised that I was in really bad shape if I was out of breath doing push - ups with my knees down! I have practically no strnght ithe arm, and I should do something for my upper body every single day, I know - specially because I tend to store fat in my upper arms, so ugly. In forty minutes I was sweating and was happy to hit the shower afterward. This morning I woke up feeling heavy. Very heavy. It was a long time I didn’t feel my muscle sore ( well, after a hike, they are sore, but it’s different, soreness is related to a specific body part - this was a total body muscle soreness.) I was very satisfied, and realised, also, that If I want to meet my fitness goals (to have some fitness goal, I should say), I have to work (not out) less.

The truth is, I can’t manage two jobs and two homes and my husband and myself. I’m afraid that the money even if useful, is not enough ( in every sense: what I get is right for paying my holidays, but the payoff is not worth my well being - there is a lot of pressure in it too).

Leaving my job number two won’t be easy … because I’m not assertive enough.